Tuesday, 18 December 2007
The inner experience
The first thing that you have to do, before you even start thinking about such a thing as contemplation, is to try to recover your basic natural unity, to reintegrate your compartmentalized being into a coordinated and simple whole and learn to live as a unified human person. This means that you have to bring back together the fragments of your distracted existence so that when you say “I,” there is really someone present to support the pronoun you have uttered.Reflect, sometimes, on the disquieting fact that most of your statements of opinions, tastes, deeds, desires, hopes, and fears are statements about someone who is not really present. When you say “I think,” it is often not you who think, but “they”—it is the anonymous authority of the collectivity speaking through your mask. When you say “I want,” you are sometimes simply making an automatic gesture of accepting, paying for, what has been forced upon you. That is to say, you reach out for what you have been made to want.Who is this “I” that you imagine yourself to be? An easy and pragmatic branch of psychological thought will tell you that if you can hook up your pronoun with your proper name and declare that you are the bearer of that name, you know who you are. You are “aware of yourself as a person.” Perhaps there is a beginning of truth in this: it is better to describe yourself with a name that is yours alone than with a noun that applies to a whole species. For then you are evidently aware of yourself as an individual subject, and not just as an object, or as a nameless unit in a multitude. It is true that for modern man even to be able to call himself by his own proper name is an achievement that evokes wonder both in himself and in others. But this is only a beginning, and a beginning that primitive man would perhaps have been able to laugh at. For when a person appears to know his own name, it is still no guarantee that he is aware of the name as representing a real person. On the contrary, it may be the name of a fictitious character occupied in very active self-impersonation in the world of business, of politics, of scholarship, or of religion.This, however, is not the “I” who can stand in the presence of God and be aware of Him as a “Thou.” For this “I” there is perhaps no clear “Thou” at all. Perhaps even other people are merely extensions of the “I,” reflections of it, modifications of it, aspects of it. Perhaps for this “I” there is no clear distinction between itself and other objects: it may find itself immersed in the world of objects and to have lost its own subjectivity, even though it may be very conscious and even aggressively definite in saying “I.”If such an “I” one day hears about “contemplation,” he will perhaps set himself to “become contemplative.” That is, he will wish to admire, in himself, something called contemplation. And in order to see it, he will reflect on his alienated self. He will make contemplative faces at himself like a child in front of a mirror. He will cultivate the contemplative look that seems appropriate to him and that he likes to see in himself. And the fact that his busy narcissism is turned within and feeds upon itself in stillness and secret love will make him believe that his experience of himself is an experience of God.But the exterior “I,” the “I” of projects, of temporal finalities, the “I” that manipulates objects in order to take possession of them, is alien from the hidden, interior “I” who has no projects and seeks to accomplish nothing, even contemplation. He seeks only to be, and to move (for he is dynamic) according to the secret laws of Being itself and according to the promptings of a Superior Freedom (that is, of God), rather than to plan and to achieve according to his own desires.It will be ironical, indeed, if the exterior self seizes upon something within himself and slyly manipulates it as if to take possession of some inner contemplative secret, imagining that this manipulation can somehow lead to the emergence of an inner self. The inner self is precisely that self which cannot be tricked or manipulated by anyone, even by the devil. He is like a very shy wild animal that never appears at all whenever an alien presence is at hand, and comes out only when all is perfectly peaceful, in silence, when he is untroubled and alone. He cannot be lured by anyone or anything, because he responds to no lure except that of the divine freedom.Sad is the case of that exterior self that imagines himself contemplative, and seeks to achieve contemplation as the fruit of planned effort and of spiritual ambition. He will assume varied attitudes, meditate on the inner significance of his own postures, and try to fabricate for himself a contemplative identity: and all the while there is nobody there. There is only an illusory, fictional “I” which seeks itself, struggles to create itself out of nothing, maintained in being by its own compulsion and the prisoner of his private illusion.The call to contemplation is not, and cannot, be addressed to such an “I.”
You still want your time machine huh?
At the heart of time is a stillness.A pendulum. Frozen.In the silence of nothing.Everyone would like to rewind time.Turn back the clock.Do things differently.But sometimes the best way to try to better the future isn't always about trying to change the past.What you have lived and experienced has made you who you are.If you rewind time.Turn back the clock.Do things differently.You won't be who you are.You'll be someone else. Somewhere else.And all the things that people loved about you will be lost.Like wasted rainbows.Down the drain.You just won't be you anymore.No doubt you'll be just as good-looking. On the outside.But on the inside? Where it counts. You'll be changed. Irreversibly.People won't know what they've missed, but something will be missing.Incomplete.Your heart maybe.So next time you long for that time-machine.To take you back.Right to the beginning.Maybe you should just be thankful.About what you've got.What you've become.What love surrounds your heart.And what life you have left still to live.You've made mistakes.Who hasn't?There a lot of people who are worse off.A lot of people who have made much bigger mistakes which can never be undone.A lot of people who have had their lives ruined due to no fault of their own.Or have ruined their own lives due to faults of their own.Don't let yourself by the next number in another startling statistic.Maybe you should just be happy.That you have all that you have.Freedom. Love. People that care about you.Because at the end of the day, nothing else really matters.So be happy.Follow your dreams.Follow your heart.Love who you love.Feel how you feel.Do what you want to do [as long as it's not too illegal]And be who you want to be.Because at the end of the day.It's your life.And nobody else's.Smile.Live for the moment.Live for every day.The bad ones and the good ones.The sunshine and the rain.Dream.Every night.Every day.Never push them aside.Or throw them away.Be honest. Be truthful.Have faith.Love.With all your heart.And your life.Will be much better than you ever dreamed it could ever be.Life. Is as beautiful as you want it to be.Please. Don't let yours fade away.No more wasted dreams.No more hopeless hopes.Go for it.Live it.Love it.Feel it.Hearts are like Tardis's. How big's yours?Don't. Ever waste time on what ifs and might have beens.Live every day as well as you can.The way you want to.Love. As you've never loved before.More people love you. Than you know.Open your heart.Open your mind.Open your eyes.To all the possibilities.All the love.All the everything.Smile.Dream.Live.Laugh.Love.:)
Friday, 9 November 2007
Pain:Suffering and its origins
Did anyone ever tell you that pain was the only thing that's real. The whole Emo thing where slitting your wrists was the only thing that showed people there was reality in their lives. I'm sure there's a fair few MSN avatars flying around the internet with a picture of some bloody wrists and words like "Pain, the only thing that's real". Funnily enough most of the people who have said this actually don't have a clue what they're talking about, they are merely too caught up (or down) in the cycle of suffering to realise the methods behind their psychologically unaccepted coping mechanism.
The belief itself that pain is the only thing that is real is actually based on Buddhist beliefs, whether intentionally or not (likely not). Pain and suffering are the things in the world that show us that things are not as real as they seem. Suffering is the only worldly thing that comes close to being truly real. Pain exists so that life does not continue without us noticing how false it is. If pain did not exist, it would all seem so real and perfect. Pain is the most real thing we can experience and no-one lives without pain.
The thing that must be accepted is that the world does not cause us pain or suffering; we do. People exist that will upset you. Things exist that will cause you pain. To accept that these things will hurt you is the first step. The second is to accept that we can only be hurt if we allow ourselves to be. This does not mean denying the existence of pain, it means accepting that our suffering is our own self-cause; we are only upset by hurtful or painful things because we allow ourselves to be.
The main pain that people fear is death. We do not want to die because we are not sure what to expect. We are used to life and do not want to end what we are familiar with. This is why we cling to worldly things, because it is all that we know and are used to and therefore we do not want to let them go. And so we conjure up images of a better place after death, one that is within the boundaries of our own understanding and so is often represented as a physical and spatial afterlife or heaven. If a man who believes in a heaven says that he does not fear death, he lies. If he did not fear death, he would have no need to believe in a life after death. For a man to say that he does not fear dying, however, is something that could well be very true. A man may not fear the process of dying, but still fears the prospect of lifelessness.
The teachings of Christ are laid down to prevent human suffering. Effectively, they are ideals for a perfect world. The concept is that, if everyone obeyed these rules, then no man would ever hurt another in any way. However, anyone who believes that this will ever be a reality is misguided; it is completely impossible to create a perfect world in such a flawed existence. Still, millions of suffering-fearing men and woman follow the religion. In all honesty, the principles are correct, but, in practice, it is a physical impossibility. As with Communism, the system simply cannot work, because humans are not perfect and too attached to worldly things.
In short, expect to be hurt and it will not shock you as much. Consequently, when you are hurt, you will not be disappointed, and, when you are not hurt, it will be a nice surprise.
'Assume the worst, so that you can best prepare for it.' -Althe
The belief itself that pain is the only thing that is real is actually based on Buddhist beliefs, whether intentionally or not (likely not). Pain and suffering are the things in the world that show us that things are not as real as they seem. Suffering is the only worldly thing that comes close to being truly real. Pain exists so that life does not continue without us noticing how false it is. If pain did not exist, it would all seem so real and perfect. Pain is the most real thing we can experience and no-one lives without pain.
The thing that must be accepted is that the world does not cause us pain or suffering; we do. People exist that will upset you. Things exist that will cause you pain. To accept that these things will hurt you is the first step. The second is to accept that we can only be hurt if we allow ourselves to be. This does not mean denying the existence of pain, it means accepting that our suffering is our own self-cause; we are only upset by hurtful or painful things because we allow ourselves to be.
The main pain that people fear is death. We do not want to die because we are not sure what to expect. We are used to life and do not want to end what we are familiar with. This is why we cling to worldly things, because it is all that we know and are used to and therefore we do not want to let them go. And so we conjure up images of a better place after death, one that is within the boundaries of our own understanding and so is often represented as a physical and spatial afterlife or heaven. If a man who believes in a heaven says that he does not fear death, he lies. If he did not fear death, he would have no need to believe in a life after death. For a man to say that he does not fear dying, however, is something that could well be very true. A man may not fear the process of dying, but still fears the prospect of lifelessness.
The teachings of Christ are laid down to prevent human suffering. Effectively, they are ideals for a perfect world. The concept is that, if everyone obeyed these rules, then no man would ever hurt another in any way. However, anyone who believes that this will ever be a reality is misguided; it is completely impossible to create a perfect world in such a flawed existence. Still, millions of suffering-fearing men and woman follow the religion. In all honesty, the principles are correct, but, in practice, it is a physical impossibility. As with Communism, the system simply cannot work, because humans are not perfect and too attached to worldly things.
In short, expect to be hurt and it will not shock you as much. Consequently, when you are hurt, you will not be disappointed, and, when you are not hurt, it will be a nice surprise.
'Assume the worst, so that you can best prepare for it.' -Althe
Sunday, 28 October 2007
Understanding-Evanescence lyrics
"You hold the answers deep within your own mind.Consciously, you've forgotten it.That's the way the human mind works.Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for usto entertain, we reject it.We erase it from our memories.But the imprint is always there."(Can't wash it all away)(Can't Wish it all away)(Can't hope it all away)(Can't cry it all away)The pain that grips youThe fear that binds youReleases life in meIn our mutualShame we hide our eyesTo blind them from the truthThat finds a way from who we arePlease don't be afraidWhen the darkness fades awayThe dawn will break the silenceScreaming in our heartsMy love for you still growsThis I do for youBefore I try to fight the truth my final time"We're supposed to try and be real.And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."Can't wash it all awayCan't wish it all awayCan't cry it all awayCan't scratch it all awayLying beside youListening to you breatheThe life that flows inside of youBurns inside of meHold and speak to meOf love without a soundTell me you will live through thisAnd I will die for youCast me not awaySay you'll be with meFor I know I cannotBear it all alone"You're not alone, honey.""Never... Never."Can't fight it all awayCan't hope it all awayCan't scream it all awayIt just won't fade away, NoCan't wash it all awayCan't wish it all awayCan't cry it all awayCan't scratch it all away(Can't fight it all away)(Can't hope it all away)Can't scream it all awayOoh, it all awayOoh, it all away"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."
Please dont hate me,
Because Ill die if you do (x7)
Please dont hate me,
Because Ill die if you do (x7)
All good things come to an end-Nelly Furtado lyrics
Honestly what will become of medon't like realityIt's way too clear to meBut really life is dailyWe are what we don't seeMissed everything daydreaming
[Chorus]Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Traveling I only stop at exitsWondering if I'll stayYoung and restlessLiving this way I stress lessI want to pull away when the dream diesThe pain sets in and I don't cryI only feel gravity and I wonder why
Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were whistling a new tuneBarking at the new moonHoping it would come soon so that they couldDogs were whistling a new tuneBarking at the new moonHoping it would come soon so that they couldDie die die die die
Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were barking at a new moonWhistling a new tuneHoping it would come soonAnd the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went awayAnd the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping andthe rain forgot how to bring salvationthe dogs were barking at the new moonWhistling a new tuneHoping it would come soon so that they could die.
[Chorus]Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Traveling I only stop at exitsWondering if I'll stayYoung and restlessLiving this way I stress lessI want to pull away when the dream diesThe pain sets in and I don't cryI only feel gravity and I wonder why
Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were whistling a new tuneBarking at the new moonHoping it would come soon so that they couldDogs were whistling a new tuneBarking at the new moonHoping it would come soon so that they couldDie die die die die
Flames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endFlames to dustLovers to friendsWhy do all good things come to an endcome to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to end?come to an end come to anWhy do all good things come to an end?
Well the dogs were barking at a new moonWhistling a new tuneHoping it would come soonAnd the sun was wondering if it should stay away for a day til the feeling went awayAnd the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping andthe rain forgot how to bring salvationthe dogs were barking at the new moonWhistling a new tuneHoping it would come soon so that they could die.
Good enough/The last song I'm wasting on you lyrics
Good enough
Under your spell again.I can't say no to you.Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.I can't say no to you.Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.Now I can't let go of this dream.I can't breathe but I feel...Good enough,I feel good enough for you.Drink up sweet decadence.I can't say no to you,And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.I can't say no to you.Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.Now I can't let go of this dream.Can't believe that I feel...Good enough,I feel good enough.It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.Pour real life down on me.'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.Am I good enough for you to love me too?So take care what you ask of me,'cause I can't say no.
The last song Im wasting on you
Sparkling grey,Through my own veins.Any more than a whisper,Any sudden movement of my heart.And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass awayJust get through this dayGive up your way, you could be anything,Give up my way, and lose myself, not todayThat's too much guilt to paySickened in the sunYou dare tell me you love meBut you held me down and screamed you wanted me to dieHoney you know, you know I'd never hurt you that wayYou're just so pretty in your painGive up my way, and I could be anythingI'll make my own wayWithout your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.So run, run, runAnd hate me, if it feels good.I can't hear your screams anymoreYou lied to meBut I'm older nowAnd I'm not buying babyDemanding my responseDon't bother breaking the door downI found my way outAnd you'll never hurt me again.
Under your spell again.I can't say no to you.Crave my heart and it's bleeding in your hand.I can't say no to you.Shouldn't have let you torture me so sweetly.Now I can't let go of this dream.I can't breathe but I feel...Good enough,I feel good enough for you.Drink up sweet decadence.I can't say no to you,And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.I can't say no to you.Shouldn't let you conquer me completely.Now I can't let go of this dream.Can't believe that I feel...Good enough,I feel good enough.It's been such a long time coming, but I feel good.And I'm still waiting for the rain to fall.Pour real life down on me.'Cause I can't hold on to anything this good enough.Am I good enough for you to love me too?So take care what you ask of me,'cause I can't say no.
The last song Im wasting on you
Sparkling grey,Through my own veins.Any more than a whisper,Any sudden movement of my heart.And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass awayJust get through this dayGive up your way, you could be anything,Give up my way, and lose myself, not todayThat's too much guilt to paySickened in the sunYou dare tell me you love meBut you held me down and screamed you wanted me to dieHoney you know, you know I'd never hurt you that wayYou're just so pretty in your painGive up my way, and I could be anythingI'll make my own wayWithout your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.So run, run, runAnd hate me, if it feels good.I can't hear your screams anymoreYou lied to meBut I'm older nowAnd I'm not buying babyDemanding my responseDon't bother breaking the door downI found my way outAnd you'll never hurt me again.
Like you lyrics
Stay low.Soft, dark, and dreamless,Far beneath my nightmares and loneliness.I hate me,For breathing without you.I don't want to feel anymore for you.Grieving for you,I'm not grieving for you.Nothing real love can't undo,And though I may have lost my way,All paths lead straight to you.I long to be like you,Lie cold in the ground like you.Halo,Blinding wall between us.Melt away and leave us alone again.Hiding, haunted somewhere out there.I believe our love can see us through in death.I long to be like you,Lie cold in the ground like you.There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,I'm coming for you.You're not alone,No matter what they told you, you're not alone.I'll be right beside you forevermore.I long to be like you, Lie cold in the ground like you did.There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you.And as we lay in silent bliss,I know you remember me.I long to be like you,Lie cold in the ground like you.There's room inside for two and I'm not grieving for you,I'm coming for you.
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